What are Love Languages?
'The Five Love Languages' is a theory developed by Gary Chapman. It suggests that there are five different ways in which people express and experience love. These five love languages are:
- Quality time
- Acts of service
- Words of affirmation
- Physical touch
- Gift giving
This framework is widely recognized and has helped many individuals and couples to better understand themselves and their partners. By understanding and identifying our own love language and that of our loved ones, we can improve our relationships and foster deeper connections with each other.
It is understood that you can have up to two predominant love languages. If you're not sure which one of these is/are yours, find out by taking the test here: Love Languages Test
How to incorporate your Love Language into your wedding day?
Love languages play a vital part in how we feel loved by, express love to, and connect with our partner. Your wedding day will go in the blink of an eye, so it's important to make time throughout the day to remain connected with your partner. Incorporating little things based on your love language can be a great way to do so.
Here is a breakdown of the five different love languages, as well as some ideas and suggestions on how to incorporate each language into your wedding day.
- Quality time
What is Quality Time?
If your love language is Quality Time, you need your partner's focused and undivided attention in order to feel loved. Quality time is not just about being in the same room with your other half. It's about creating meaningful experiences and memories together. This could mean taking part in shared activities, having deep conversations, or simply spending time with each other without distractions (like phones).
How to incorporate Quality Time into your wedding day?
- Take the non-traditional route and spend the night before your wedding day together, or even get ready together before the ceremony;
- Consider a 'first look' before the ceremony to calm your nerves and feel grounded by the presence of your partner;
- Remember that your wedding couple shoot is a great time to spend Quality Time! Your photographer will help you relax and give you prompts that foster connection and affection;
- Sneak away from the festivities for a short moment and take a second to let the day sink in. Even if just for five minutes. The reception is a great time to do this, as all your guests are busy mingling and eating or drinking.
- Acts of service
What are Acts of Service?
An Act of Service refers to doing something for someone you care about that they would appreciate or find helpful. In every-day life, they can include things like cooking a meal, running errands, or doing chores. It involves taking the time and effort to assist someone in a way that makes their life easier and more comfortable. If Acts of Service are your love language, you use these types of actions to demonstrate to your partner that you are willing to invest time and energy into making their life better. It's a way to show love and support through actions rather than just words.
How to incorporate Acts of Service into your wedding day?
- Send a text the morning of the wedding while you are getting ready separately;
- Make sure that your partner is drinking enough water or has plenty of snacks throughout the wedding day;
- Bring them a drink or some food during cocktail hour, or help them carry their bouquet and/or their dress train;
- Take one for the team and volunteer to be the one to make a speech during the reception if your partner hates public speaking;
- In the lead-up to your wedding: help with the planning and organisation. Tick off some tasks off their to-do list for them to make them feel valued and supported.
- Words of affirmation
What are Words of Affirmation?
Words of affirmation refer to expressing love and appreciation through spoken or written words. Words of Affirmation can be anything from saying "I love you," to giving compliments or expressing gratitude. If Words of Affirmation are your main love language, words can be incredibly impactful and make you feel loved and valued.
How to incorporate Words of Affirmation into your wedding day?
- Writing your own vows. You can decide to either read them in front of your guests during the ceremony, or privately beforehand or afterward;
- If personalised vows aren't an option, you can always write a letter to each other. You can read it separately whilst you're getting ready the morning of your wedding, or together whilst you're having your wedding portraits taken;
- Compliment your partner throughout the day and let them know how happy you are to start this next chapter with them;
- Thank them for organising some aspects of the wedding day and tell them how much you appreciate them.
- Physical touch
What is Physical Touch?
Physical Touch refers to the way that people feel loved and appreciated through little (or big) physical gestures. This can involve holding hands, hugging, kissing, or cuddling. For people with Physical Touch as their love language, these gestures provide a sense of closeness and intimacy that words alone may not convey.
How to incorporate Physical Touch into your wedding day?
- Plan a 'first-touch' (rather than a 'first look') before the ceremony;
- Give each other a little hug when you meet down the aisle and holding hands throughout the ceremony;
- Be very affectionate to your partner throughout the day: hand-holding, forehead kisses, back rubs, and bear hugs are welcome (and your photographer will love you for it)!
- Gift giving
What is Gift Giving?
Gift Giving is a way to feel loved and appreciated through the act of giving or receiving gifts, both big and small. If Gift Giving is your love language, the thoughtfulness and effort that goes into selecting and presenting a gift is an expression of love and care.
How to incorporate Gift Giving into your wedding day?
- Buy something for your other half and get them to open it on the morning of the wedding. (An even better idea is to gift them with something that they can actually wear on the day a bracelet or a pair of cuff links for example);
- Surprise your spouse with a special gift in front of everyone during your reception or at the end of the day when the festivities have ended.
How can knowing your Love Language also give you better photos
Letting your photographer know what your Love Language is can be incredibly useful. Knowing your love language is a valuable tool that will help your photographer build a relationship with you. It will also give them an insight into who you are as a couple and a better understanding of how you express love. Which, in turn, will only make for better photos.
For example, if your photographer knows that your love language is Physical Touch, they will most likely encourage you to show physical affection. They will prompt you with kisses and hugs. On the other hand, if you're not big on physical touch but express love with Words of Affirmation, your photographer will try a different approach. They will probably ask you some questions that will prompt interesting answers and reactions.
Love Languages and non-romantic relationships
On another note, love languages aren't exclusive to couples and romantic relationships. They can also help us shape our relationships with our friends, family, coworkers, or anyone else in our lives. So here are a few bonus suggestions to incorporate your love language into your wedding day with other people than your partner:
- Delegate a lot of the micro-managing and on-the-day coordination to a family member (Acts of Service);
- Ask the most important people in your life to do a reading during the ceremony or a speech during the reception (Words of Affirmation);
- Don't be embarrassed to ask for gifts instead of a wishing well (Gift Giving);
- Make time for all your guests to come and congratulate you with a heartfelt hug after your ceremony (Physical Touch);
- Make sure to spend time with your guest during cocktail hour (Quality Time).
A final note on Love Languages
Remember: in a relationship, it's not uncommon for the two parties to have different love languages. That's why it's important for both of you to know what are your main love languages and to communicate that with your partner. This will enable you to understand that something that might not mean a lot to you, is in fact a big love gesture coming from them. It also works the other way around: maybe you show love by showering them with compliments, but if their love language is acts of service, making sure the house is clean when they come home from work might be more meaningful to them.
Wedding days are all about feeling the love, whether it's the one you share with your partner or the one you have for your family and friends. Love Languages are an amazing tool when it comes to expressing that love to the people around us. So be sure to make the most out of understanding which Love Language(s) is/are important to you so your wedding can be full of love!
What is your love language? What about your partners? Did you incorporate yours into your wedding day in a different way? Let me know in the comments below so I can add your idea to the list.
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